Alphabet Soup
by Dance Elle Dance
Summary: Twenty six drabbles and oneshots for the pairing of Loki Laufeyson and Darcy Lewis, a prompt for each letter of the alphabet. LokiDarcy, possible AU and spoilers
1. A for Argyle

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Thor._

_**Summary: Twenty six drabbles and oneshots for the pairing of Loki Laufeyson and Darcy Lewis, a prompt for each letter of the alphabet. LokiDarcy, possible AU and spoilers**_

_And, 200__th__ fic! This is a rather amazing milestone, and it feels weird that I've gotten here but I'm super excited about it! I kinda wanted to do something special for my 200__th__ fic, and this is the result. I've been wanting to do a oneshot collection like this for a while, and I thought what better opportunity than now? Especially with such a fun pairing. Inspiration and Thor and plenty of time to write will do that to a person. Anyway, I hope that y'all enjoy this little fic! I know I will have fun writing it! Thanks so much for checking this out!_

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**Alphabet Soup  
001. A for Argyle**

* * *

"This is dreadful."

"Aw, come on, it's cute."

"Of all the words in existence, that would be the _last_ one I would use to describe this."

Darcy grinned at the god in front of her. She was unabashed in her amusement, unconcerned that the dark-haired male might just decide to trick his way out of this, but she didn't think he would. Or, well, she _hoped_ he wouldn't. This was way too awesome to have that happen.

"That's the first one I'd use to describe it," she replied cheekily, nudging him with her elbow. He looked awkward and tried to edge away from her, giving her a scowling look as he did so.

Loki stared at her for a moment before moving his hands to take off the offending item. He was halfway there when Darcy grasped the hem of the shirt and tugged downward, effectively pulling the item of clothing back down as well as choking the Trickster at the same time. He gave a garbled yelp of displeasure and tried to wiggle away from her.

"Aw, can't you keep it on for at least a few minutes."

"Hasn't it been an hour already?"

"More like three minutes, I believe."

Loki growled.

Darcy smirked.

"I cannot believe you are making me wear this." He fidgeted around it.

"Hey, I was surprised you consented."

"Only because you threatened me with that…_taser_ of yours."

Darcy's grin widened. "Oh, Criss Angel Mindfreak couldn't handle a little electric current? Couldn't you magic yourself away from it?"

"I have no idea of what you speak."

"Remind me to introduce you to that later on. It's a magnificent show."

"If it's anything like that shore with the orange people, I do not want to know."

Darcy laughed outright. "There is nothing wrong with watching idiots be idiots."

"There is _everything_ wrong with those people, Darcy."

This only caused Darcy to laugh louder, placing a hand on her stomach and squeezing her eyes shut in mirth. "You can't deny their appeal."

"What appeal do they have?" Loki started in on them. "They drink, they fornicate, they pass out, they wake up the next evening to do it all again."

"But you said you liked JWoww."

"I must have been intoxicated myself at the time," he replied, avoiding contact with Darcy's prying, curious, puppy-like eyes which seemed to gleam with oncoming victory.

"It's like watching a train wreck," she offered. "You can't look away, not even when Snooki decides the bathroom is on the dance floor."

Loki shuddered, and then tried to get rid of the mental image with no substantial success. He then wrapped his fingers around the edge of the sweater - blue with an eye-spasm-inducing pattern - and pulled upward.

"Loki!" Darcy complained as she wrapped her fingers around his own and pulled the sweater down gently. "C'mon." She pouted at him.

Loki's nose wrinkled. Oh, that was not fair. That pout…no one with a soul could resist that. And, even if his is more damaged than most, he still can succumb to the patented and infamous Darcy Lewis Pout.

"Fine," he relented, crossing his arms across the pattern displayed across his thin chest.

"No, no, no," she said, pressing her fingers around his thin forearms. "Let's see that glorious pattern."

"_Glorious_?" Loki questioned skeptically, but he drew his arms away from his chest anyway. "You, my dear, are delusional."

Darcy gave a laugh and then pressed his arms against his sides, as if making sure they would not move from that position.

Loki looked particularly uncomfortable, even more uncomfortable than he was when he was first presented with the ridiculous shirt. He shifted from one foot to the other, his eyes wary. Darcy stared at him for a moment, her large eyes plotting something. But _what_ exactly, he was not certain. Loki opened his mouth to ask, but was then cut off by a phone, stuck directly in his face. And then a flash.

Spots danced around in his vision and he lifted a hand to place against his eyes. "What…was that, Darcy?"

"Nothing," Darcy chimed, scrolling through the contacts on her phone and selecting the names _Jane Foster _and _Erik Selvig_ - the two that would really get the humor in this - and placing the picture file in a text to each. Too bad Thor had yet to acquire a cell. "Nothing at all."

"I hardly believe that."

She snickered. "You shouldn't."

With a grin, she pressed send.

* * *

_**End 001.**_


	2. B for Bulldog

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Thor._

_Aww, thanks so much everyone for the reviews for the first chapter! That means so much to me! I'm glad I have some people along for the crack-filled ride. Anyway, here's the next chapter. It was so much fun to write, no lie. I just think this fic is gonna be fun to write in general. Anyway, I love animals (and that's not an understatement at all) so I thought it would be an interesting concept to write for. Hope everyone enjoys!_

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**Alphabet Soup  
****002. B for Bulldog**

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"_Why _are we doing this?"

Loki should have known better than to ask, but he just couldn't help himself. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, he was curious about her explanation regarding their endeavor. She always had the most...interesting ways of putting things, even though he hardly understood her word usage most of the time.

"Dude, do not question the greatness of the Darcy-nator."

Like that.

But Loki had no choice _but _to question the great...oh, he was _not _going to repeat that title, not even in his thoughts.

He had no choice because these _creatures_ were _yipping_ at him.

Dogs.

Loud and boistrous and unabashed about their noise-making. And there was a great amount of them in one place. As Loki and his human made their way down the halls of this dog-holding facility - "shelter" - Loki realized that they had various types. No two dogs really looked the same. Some had floppy ears, others had pointed ears. Some were rather furry, and Loki had seen one with no hair at all except for a crest of white adorning his head. Fat and skinny, hyper and mellow. These dogs were rather fascinating creatures, Loki hated to admit.

"Darcy..."

"I am here because I need to find someone to share my love with. To share my life." Darcy spread her hands out to the sides of her as if she had wings.

Loki cleared his throat pointedly.

Darcy turned around. Loki was holding the edge of his scarf between two fingers and blatantly staring away from her.

"Oh. I love you, too," Darcy said as if it were the most obvious fact in the world. "But a dog will lie with me on the couch! Fetch me a cup of coffee! Go to the store and buy me ice cream and tampons when I'm PMS-y."

Loki shuddered at the last part. That was certainly not a thing he would like to remember. At all. But he paused a moment and then said, "I've done _all _of those things. And I'm sure a...dog...can't get you coffee or buy you...items..."

Darcy kept walking, only throwing an idle, "Sometimes _quiet _is nice, too," over her shoulder as she went.

_Infuriating, _Loki thought. "These things are far from quiet, dear."

She turned around and winked at him.

Oh.

Right.

Well, she might have wanted him to be quiet, but that didn't mean he was going to oblige her. Bothering her was much more fun than anyone would ever realize. "Is this the only place you can retrieve your...companion?" he asked, eyeing a pair of sketchy looking dogs with poofy hair.

"Jane would have my head if I didn't adopt one from a shelter."

Loki snickered at that.

He continued walking behind Darcy, eyes scanning the cages. They looked strong, but Loki couldn't help but think of all the animals escaping and pouncing on the clueless girl in front of him.

Loki passed the cage of one particularly menacing dog. All black, with blue eyes, pointed ears and white teeth. It blinked at Loki and then approached, wagging its tail. Curious, the Trickster stuck his fingers against the cage. The dog's tongue flicked out and licked the tips of his fingers.

"Oh my God!" Darcy's shriek sounded from ahead of him.

Oh, for the love of Odin. The dogs really _had _atttacked her.

Loki started running in the direction of the scream. He turned a corner and saw, with great relief, that Darcy was not being mauled to death, but shoving her face directly against the bars, slender fingers wrapping around the metal. She was giggling uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking with excitement. He didn't bother fighting his smile - he supposed he forgot how since he met her.

"I assume you found something?" he asked, amused.

Darcy did not look at him, but crooned, "_Look_."

Loki shrugged and made his way to the cage, stopping as soon as he got shoulder-to-shoulder with Darcy.

And he gaped.

This dog was very different than the sleek, black specimen Loki had found himself drawn to.

It was a stout creature, with a smushed in nose and brown-and-white fur. Large brown eyes stared at him lazily. A tennis ball was perched between its teeth. Drool dribbled from the corner of its mouth. The poor tennis ball was soaked in it.

Darcy was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Oh my _Gooooood_!"

"I presume this is the one?"

Darcy nodded emphatically.

The dog rose from its seated position and walked to Darcy with a waddle that made Loki almost burst into laughter. The action in and of itself seemed to take half an hour.

She reached out to pat its head.

It drooled on her fingers.

"Eeeee!" She sounded like a delighted child. If drooling on her was all Darcy needed to be happy, then Loki should probably take some lessons from this sluggish creature.

He found himself chuckling at the scene, and as he did so, his eyes drifted upward to a laminated piece of paper fastened to the cage with a chain. It read:

"_Hi, my name is Marty!  
__Sex: Male  
__Age: 11 months  
__Breed: English Bulldog  
__Vaccinated.  
__Neutered."_

"His name is Marty," Loki said lamely, not understanding most of the rest other than the obvious things. He didn't know what "neutered" meant, and really, he didn't think he wanted to find out.

"Aww, _Marty_," Darcy crowed. "You handsome man!"

Marty sat back on his haunches and looked up at her, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. He looked almost like he was grinning. The stump of a tail he had wagged, causing his whole hindquarters to move with it.

"How's everything coming along?" the voice of one of the shelter's workers - Cliff, if Loki remembered correctly - rang out. He smiled once he saw the expression on Darcy's face. "Oh, I know that look. Marty's the one, huh?"

Darcy beamed at him.

"Right then." The man took out a set of keys and unlocked the door. Marty leapt up and jumped out, putting his paws on the jean-clad leg of the man. "Let's get you up front. We have a bit of paperwork for you to fill out." He then clipped a leash to Marty's collar and gave him to Darcy. He started jumping around, barking happily. "Your background check cleared, so you're good to go, Miss Lewis."

"Background check?" Loki scoffed. "The extent of Darcy's evil is being a proponent of that awful _burger _chain you Midga - "

"McDonald's is a sacred institution!" she shouted, interrupting Loki before he could call them "Midgardians" and further distinguish himself as weird. And not only because he wore a scarf in the summer.

They passed the cage where the large black dog stood. Stopping, Loki read the information tag on the front of the cage.

_"Hi, my name is Liveda!  
__Sex: Female  
__Age: 9 months  
__Breed: German Shephard/Black Lab mix  
__Vaccinated.  
__Spayed."_

He pressed his fingers against the cage again. Liveda pushed her cold nose against him. Loki heard, in the background, the owner of the shelter mutter something and then footsteps. The black dog's ears twitched as the jingling of keys sounded. The man unlocked the door, but Liveda remained stationary. After a moment, she stepped forward and sniffed Loki's shoes.

"I thought Marty could use a friend," Darcy said softly, suddenly by Loki's side, twirling Marty's leash in her hands. He slobbered all over the floor, ruining whatever poignancy the moment had.

Loki swallowed. "Yeah."

The owner clipped another leash to Liveda's collar and then handed it to Loki. "I know a match when I see one."

"Lived-a?" Darcy attempted.

"Liv-ee-dah," the man corrected.

Darcy crouched and scratched the black dog's ears. "Hi, Lived-a. I think you and Loki are gonna be great friends."

"I thought you said _Marty_ could use a friend."

Darcy shrugged.

* * *

"I've never seen her act like this," Cliff said as he finalized the paperwork. Marty was currently sitting on Darcy's shoes and panting. Liveda was calmly sitting beside Loki. "I mean, Marty's always been mellow, even as a little puppy when we first got him, but Liveda...she's kind of a handfull."

"Why do you say that?" Darcy asked absently, too busy scratching Marty's wrinkled forehead to really care.

"Well..." he trailed off. "Her name _is _Liveda."

Blank looks focused on him.

"Liveda is 'a devil' backwards."

Loki paused, gazing down at his newly acquired partner.

And he could've _sworn _she smirked at him.

* * *

_**End 002.**_


	3. C for Cryptid

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Thor._

_Thanks so much for the reviews for the last installment. I'm really sorry this update has taken so long to get here! I hope that everyone enjoys this, and I would love it if y'all reviewed and whatnot! Thanks to everyone again!_

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**Alphabet Soup  
003. C for Cryptid**

* * *

Loki found himself with a problem.

Now, this problem had been presenting itself over a vast amount of time, but only now did he find that it was - indeed - a very pressing issue.

This issue shouldn't have been an _issue _in the first place. _He_ was supposed to be the Trickster, not the one who was Tricked. This whole problem was becoming increasingly frustrating, and the fact that Loki couldn't _do_ anything about it was just as vexing.

The problem, you ask?

Loki just _couldn't _say no to Darcy Lewis.

Of course, this hadn't been a problem until Darcy decided - after a marathon viewing of that damned stupid _Finding Bigfoot _show - that she wanted to, in fact, find Bigfoot.

Or something.

"Apparently," she started as she stepped over a particularly gnarled, upturned root, "there are _Bigfoots_. At least, that's how the gang refers to them as. I, personally, would say Bigfeet, because _Bigfoots _just sounds like we're all - "

Loki interrupted her before she could go off on another rant. "Because actually _looking _for these creatures isn't what makes you look crazy. It is the term used to _describe _them."

"Hey, now - "

"And you call the people on the show _the gang_," he continued, drawling in an infuriatingly superior manner, "as if you are longtime friends, when in reality, you just stalk them - "

"That was _one time_, Laufeyson," Darcy threatened, spinning around and nearly toppling over due to the immense amount of weight in the backpack on her shoulders. Despite himself, Loki reached out and steadied her by placing a hand on her back. She turned, setting a beaming grin on him that could make other men weak at the knees.

Okay, so maybe Loki could be looped in with the "other men."

"Brother," Thor's booming voice sounded out, "do not be so quick to dismiss something such as this! I am sure Darcy is perfectly capable of - "

Loki tuned out the rest of the golden-haired god's rant. Of course Darcy had blabbed to Jane about the two of them going _Squatching_ or whatever the hell that awful term was. And then Jane had told Thor. And then Thor, being the consummate adventurer that he is, insisted that they make it a group outing.

Oh, Loki hated them _all_.

Jane seemed to be on the same level that Loki was, at least. She wasn't wide eyed and bushy tailed at the prospect of Bigfoot. Or Bigfoots. Whatever.

"Darcy!" Thor thundered, pressing a hand against Jane's shoulder as the two of them walked. "Where would we be headed?"

"I dunno," Darcy shrugged, seeming suddenly chilled out. "The people on the show usually walk around and make noises."

"Like an animal call?" Thor looked genuinely intrigued.

Darcy perked up, turning to face Thor while precariously walking backwards. Loki knew potential disaster when he saw it. "Yes!" she chirped. "Yes! Like this - "

And Darcy cupped her hands around her mouth as if to amplify the sound of the most horrible sound Loki had ever the displeasure to hear.

Thor beamed. "Clever!"

And he copied her.

Loki turned to Jane, a pleading look deep in his green eyes. "Kill me. Please. Of the many questionable things I have done, they should not warrant this torture."

Jane blinked lamely at him. "If I have to endure this, then so do you."

"You people of science are evil."

Jane shrugged.

The dueling Bigfoot calls were the only thing heard in the wooded expanse of the forest. That, and Loki's constant pleas for some kind of creature to come eviscerate them. But Loki could not be so lucky, of course.

Darcy and Thor took the head of the party, calling out with the strange noises and grunts that were so often heard on the television show that really tickled Darcy's fancy more than it should. It was moments like this that made Loki really question what in the name of Odin he was doing here, with her.

But then she giggled at something Thor said, and her entire face lit up, and that gave Loki all the answer he needed.

Unfortunately enough.

"Where are we going?" Jane asked, exasperated but in a good mood. Unlike Loki who was exasperated and at his wit's end.

"Finding a place to set up camp," Darcy called. "That can be our base and then we can go out Squatching."

Loki cringed at the use of the term. "Glad to see you have a...plan."

"Oh, yes," Darcy said, her voice strange and lulling despite the crazed look in her eyes. "I definitely have plans."

"This is going to be the place of my death," Loki said in realization before turning to Jane, who just snickered and turned away from him before walking to catch up with Thor.

After a while, Darcy found a clearing that she deemed acceptable for the Squatching elite, and they set up camp. Thor did most of the work, fixing the tent in record time and only getting tangled up in the canvas once, much to Loki's amusement. Jane helped pick the exact location in the clearing, one that wouldn't fry them when the sun was out and yet one that the wind couldn't tear freely through.

Loki stared at the two tents, side by side, and heaved a great sigh. The momentary reprieve given by the setting up of the camping equipment was short. Too short. And now they had to go back to their task.

_Squatching._

Darkness was settling around them as they finally made progress, leaving their campsite for yet more of the wilderness that made Loki feel increasingly out of place as they ventured through it.

The Bigfoot calls started not five seconds after they left camp.

Jane had provided each of them with night-vision cameras, expensive ones that she had used back when she was studying the fluctuations in the sky that had eventually brought Thor to her. Loki's job was to randomly snap photos; Darcy clenched her camera as if it were something incredibly precious, using her free hand to magnify the awful, horrible sounds of the Bigfoot call.

What was bad was that Loki could actually tell the difference between the two. Thor's was deep and frightening sounding. Darcy's sounded a bit like a mouse with allergies.

Each time they would emit one of those godawful noises, they'd pause for a bit, waiting for a response that Loki was sure would never come.

After one particularly vicious round of calls, a hooting sound came in response, causing the group to collectively jump.

Of course, Loki would never admit that he jumped the highest.

And might have let out a little shriek.

After Thor had thoroughly made fun of his girlish reaction, Loki snarled at him and said, "It's just an owl." He pointed over to the tree next to them. Two bright amber-colored eyes were staring out from the branches at the group. As if pushing his point home, the owl made its appearance by nudging through the branches and tilting its head to the side.

"D'aww!" Darcy exclaimed, almost dropping her camera in the process. "Screw Bigfoot, I'm going to take you home!"

The owl flew away faster than Loki had ever seen one.

Growling at her misfortune, Darcy stomped forward, continuing to emit sounds that would be better associated with a rodent in a blender. She was determined in her movements, every clumsy action was followed with an even clumsier Bigfoot call. Loki fought the urge to laugh.

Okay, he totally didn't fight it.

"Watch it, brother," Thor warned just as Darcy turned around him and unleashed a glare on him that could curdle milk.

"Yeah, yeah, wouldn't want Darcy to unleash one of her cryptids on me."

"...what does that word mean, brother?"

Jane snickered, but Darcy went from absolutely angry to absolutely beaming. "So you _did_ do the research I told you about!"

Loki plead the fifth.

* * *

Walking back to the campground that night was an adventure in stupidity. Every turn they took, they seemed to get lost. Every minute they were out in the woods, it seemed to decrease there intellect.

As soon as they arrived at their campsite, Loki collapsed on the ground in front of the tent he would share with Darcy. He wasn't necessarily looking forward to spending a night listening to her recount the evidence, but he couldn't say that he minded enough to not be in her company. He was that far gone.

He watched as Thor started to build a fire in front of the two tents. Not close enough that sparks could catch their tents on fire, but close enough that it would be felt towards the sleeping area. Loki snapped his fingers and a brilliant orange-red flame started in the center of the pile of logs, startling Thor enough that he stumbled backward into Jane, who shrieked when confronted with the larger than life presence of her significant other.

Darcy started giggling like a child.

And a roaring noise was heard in very close proximity.

The startled reactions of everyone around were almost comical. Loki leaped up, the camera that was seated in his lap fell off and flashed, illuminating the forest and showing that nothing was there.

A silence passed over the group.

"Did...everyone hear that?" Darcy asked. It was only now that Loki noticed her fingers were twined with his.

"Yes," Jane chimed in, her voice high like a bird's.

"But nothing's there..."

The roar came again from behind Loki, followed by the rustle of bushes.

"Tent?" he asked.

"Tent!" came the shouted confirmation from all three, except Thor, who was stubbornly taking out Mjolnir.

"No, Thor! Just no!"

After trying to talk Thor off his ledge, the four of them ended up crammed in one tent for the night.

No one spoke of it the next morning.

* * *

Three days after the Squatching fiasco, Loki arrived at Darcy's apartment with the developed film in one hand and a bowl of chicken noodle soup in the other. Spending all that time in the wilderness didn't treat her well; she arrived home and immediately came down with something, and that in and of itself was enough to convince Loki that the wilds were evil, evil things and should not be investigated by two unprepared Midgardians and two...well, unprepared Asgardians.

"Here," he said, handing her the photos. "I haven't looked at them yet."

Darcy leaned forward and kissed his cheek before taking the photos and leaning back in her nest of blankets and used tissues. Loki fought the urge to be sick himself.

Loki placed the bowl of soup on the coffee table in front of her and took off the lid. Steam rose from the still-hot liquid, and Loki went to go get a spoon from the kitchen.

Just as he was about to find an eating utensil that was not completely filthy, Darcy cried out, "_Loki_!"

Faster than he cared to admit, he sped to the living room where Darcy lay, photos clenched tightly in her hands, her eyes wide with fright that might have crossed the line to manic excitement.

Loki walked closer, peering over her shoulder. "What is it?"

Darcy shoved the offending photo in his face; Loki's eyes grew impossibly large in his face.

The photo showed an upside down view of the forest, the lower half of Thor's body off to the side, the beaming fire, and...

"What _is _that?" Darcy said, eager to have someone else's opinion other than her own.

Loki blinked a few times, as if to clear his vision. In the moment in which he dropped the camera - completely by accident - he had caught this strange figure, at least seven feet tall, standing amongst the trees and looking at them with large, dark eyes, a mammoth hand placed on the trunk of the tree nearest him.

"I...believe your Squatching mission was successful, Darcy."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

* * *

_**End 003.**_


	4. D for Devilish

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Thor._

_Thanks to everyone for the reviews for the last chapter! I am so glad that people are enjoying this fic. I just love the pairing of Loki and Darcy and they're just so much fun to write for. Well, here's the next chapter! Been a long time coming, that's for sure! Please enjoy! _

* * *

**Alphabet Soup  
004. D for Devilish**

* * *

Darcy hugged the long trenchcoat to her body, bouncing from toe to toe - which was freaking hard in stilettos, mind you - as she tried to regulate her breathing. The brisk wind was fierce, unforgiving, and she cursed her boyfriend for not answering the door when she knocked the first time.

Night had fallen in the time she had been waiting here, and she was about to pitch a remarkably immature fit when her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Blinking, she took her phone out and stared at the screen, which read: _1 new message._

Darcy pressed some combination of buttons and ended up finding said new text. From Jane, of course, but instead of messaging her about work like she thought she would, Darcy found an actual concerned message on the genius' behalf.

_So...how are things going?_

The dark-haired girl blinked several more times before a delirious little laugh escaped from her throat. Reluctantly pulling her other hand from inside the pocket of her trenchcoat, she sent a text back to her employer.

_Freaking stupid! I'm not even sure he's here! _

Less than a minute later, Jane replied with, _Have you knocked on the door?_

Growling, Darcy was sure her thumbs would break the phone as she furiously typed her response, _No, Jane, that thought was the furthest from my mind! And that's sarcasm, btw! Sar-casm!_

Before she was able to see whatever reply Jane had up her sleeve, Darcy felt someone tap her shoulder. Jumping, she spun around to face the offender and came face-to-face with the one and only, Loki Laufeyson.

He was staring at her as if she were something particularly amusing, crisp green eyes sparking with a wry sort of mirth. In his hands he carried several large grocery bags, and Darcy had to stop herself from laughing at the image of Loki in the produce aisle.

"Darcy," he said, his liquid voice lingering in a rather delicious way on the syllables of her name.

"Loki," she replied, trying her best to mimic him, but her tone was too annoyed, her stomach too nervous at what she was actually here for. Which was silly, she knew, but she chalked all that up to anticipation.

Loki stepped around her in such a graceful way that it made her jealous before pressing a palm to the doorknob and opening it in one swift motion. Darcy blinked.

"The door was open the entire time?"

Loki stood aside so she could enter the apartment first, but she didn't ignore the strange look he was giving her attire. "It was a rather short trip to the store."

"And in that time, a murderer could have broken in, and be hiding in wait in your closed with a damn butcher knife and - "

"Though your fantastical musings are rather entertaining, I do believe you know I am referred to as the god of mischief in certain circles," he said coolly, setting the bags down on the marble counter that divided the kitchen from the living room.

"People will steal your shit," Darcy pointed out.

Loki looked at her, an almost patronizing smile on his face. "I locked the door with magic, Darcy."

"You could have said that when you opened the door."

At this, Loki smirked wider. "And miss you overreact?"

"Jerk."

The smile did not leave his face.

Darcy's, however, had completely melted from hers. She stared at him with a sense of all-consuming aggravation and found that her hands had migrated from crossing over her chest to being placed on her hips. Without her volition. This change in body language was not lost on Loki, who cocked his head to the side, eyes sparking with interest.

"This does not look like your usual garb," he said, stepping forward.

Darcy blinked a bit, now remembering why she was her in the first place. Looking down at her unflattering trenchcoat - baggy and not colorful in the least like most of her clothes - she gave a sigh as the annoyance melted away, as the strange nervousness pitted in her stomach once more.

"It is not," she said, finding herself mocking Loki's speak once more. She shook her head. That was not going to make the night go the way she wanted. Her fingers fiddled with the belt keeping the coat shut. She wasn't used to feeling this nervous, especially around him.

But, then again, she supposed things were never as simple as they seem.

At the long pause, Loki gazed at her as if something was amiss. He stepped forward, looking her up and down as if to figure out the mysteries of the universe, and before Darcy knew it, he was dreadfully close, fingers trailing beneath the upturned collar of the coat.

"Are you...hiding someting?" The tone of his voice was soft, smooth. Not unlike him, of course, but there was something lying in the cadence of his voice got underneath her skin in the most delightful of ways.

"Me?" Darcy questioned, faux-insulted. "Of course not."

"Then why are you wearing this," he said as his fingers dropped from the collar to float around the belt, "_monstrosity_."

Darcy tilted her head toward him, her eyes issuing a playful challenge.

Wordlessly accepting said challenge, Loki pursed his lips, moving his hand upward to flick open one of the large, brown buttons that held the coat closed. As soon as he saw was was beneath the coat, his eyebrows went into his hairline and a rather befuddled expression befell his face.

"Well...I was not expecting this," he commented, and the way his eyes grazed over her form this time was downright animalistic. Darcy's heart thudded in her chest in response.

"Exactly," she said, a smirk curving her mouth.

Loki matched her smirk with one of his own, moving to slide the coat from her shoulders. It pooled on the floor, revealing what Darcy had attempted so hard to conceal.

Darcy stood in front of him, trying to exude the confidence of a woman with far more experience than she. She tilted her head up at him, allowing the dark night of her hair to fall over one of her shoulders. Loki allowed his eyes to roam her body, taking in the red lace of her most naughty lingerie that revealed her womanly curves. His gaze trailed down her bare legs; Darcy could not take her eyes from him, even when he wasn't looking into hers.

His long fingers reached out and skimmed the lace that made up the upper portion of her garb. She could feel the cool touch of his skin against hers, and it almost caused a shudder to ripple down her spine.

"So this is why you are here?" he said, his voice throaty and deep; goosebumps rose on her skin as soon as the simple question was voiced. "Why you were waiting?"

"No," Darcy said, unable to help herself. "I'm actually a lady of the night and this is my way of telling you."

Loki grinned at her wit, reaching up to run his fingers over the crown of her forehead. "You should be fitted with devil horns, my dear."

"So you like, then?" Darcy asked cheekily, stepping forward a bit and pressing herself to him.

For a brief moment, Loki said nothing, as if trying to find the right words. He then replied in a surprisingly earnest manner with, "You always look stunning, Darcy."

Darcy snorted at this. "You sap."

Though, as she tilted her head upward to meet his mouth with hers, Darcy did - in fact - notice the mischievous, hungry glint in Loki's eyes.

_Mission accomplished, _she thought, and led him to the bedroom.

* * *

_**End 004.**_


End file.
